real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize