There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
