if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
