Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
