All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
