Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
