Hey man sorry I got all grabby
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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