no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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