i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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