careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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