White coat. Heels.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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