Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
