i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
