You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
