Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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