Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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