Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
