We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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