First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
