Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
