Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
