So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
