how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
