Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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