He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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