theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
