Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
