Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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