I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
