i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i think i just lost a toe
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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