i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
