When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
