she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
