pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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