I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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