This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
