hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
