I'm going to jail i love you
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
