Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
