so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
