I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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