There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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