I can tuck mytits in my pants
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
