theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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