I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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