I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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