if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
