He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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