She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize