i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
