It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
