are you still at the devil's house?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
