Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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