no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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