So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
